10 Ways to Get Savvy About Your Sexual Health

September is Sexual Health Awareness Month, but the more we thought about it, the more we believed that ‘aware’ is the bare minimum.

We’re aware that rattlesnakes are dangerous, but we don’t know how to identify, avoid, or handle one.

We’re aware unwashed produce can cause food poisoning, but we don’t know how to properly wash the bacteria away.

We’re aware exercise is good for us, but we have no clue what that practically means for the body beyond weight management.

You see where we’re going with this?

Just because we know sexual health is a thing doesn’t mean we really know anything about sexual health and its role in our holistic wellness.

Which brings us to the flip side.

What does being ‘sexual health savvy’ mean? Coming from a Latin root, in the simplest sense, being savvy means “to be wise.”

Perceptive about family planning.

Alert to consent.

Informed about birth control.

Vigilant for negative attitudes.

Watchful for symptoms.

Prepared for potential consequences of sexual activity.

Quick to listen to your partner.

Discerning of your own desires.

And if you’re Captain Jack Sparrow, asking, “savvy,” is shorthand for “do you understand?”

So here’s ten ways to start moving towards sexual health savviness this month!

One. Understand that penetrative sex always carries the risk of pregnancy.

There’s a reason abstinence is the only 100% effective method of avoiding pregnancy. Regardless of the method of birth control, and this includes pull-out method and cycle tracking, sex carries the risk and possibility of pregnancy.

Two. Know your birth control.

Implant, patch, pill, shot, sponge, vaginal ring, breastfeeding, cervical cap, condom, diaphragm, fertility awareness, internal condom, IUD, spermicide, withdrawal, or anything else – get to know your choice inside and out.

How effective is it? How often do you need to take it/use it/replace it? Is it budget-friendly for you in this season? Does it mitigate the possibility of pregnancy as much as you would like? Are there long-term effects of this method? If so, what are they? How commonly do they occur?

Make an informed decision and know your choice backwards and forwards. Not only is this simply smart, it’ll give you greater peace of mind about your sexual activity.

Three. Listen to your body.

If sex hurts, stop. Begin asking “why,” and seek out an expert (primary physician, pelvic floor physical therapist, etc.).

If you have no or low libido, assess your body for other symptoms. Fatigue, low energy, and migraines can point to an underlying cause. Make an appointment with your doctor and/or change your supplement regime to meet your body’s needs.

If you struggle with arousal, lean into the ‘why.’ Talk to your counselor and/or do some introspective work to assess what is stopping this natural process in your body.

Four. Create your own risk/benefit analysis for sexual activity.

You can google the whole personal risk/benefit analysis matrix if you want to, but two columns really do the job here!

What are the risks of engaging in sexual activity? Or in a particular sexual act? Make sure to consider your whole self – mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.

What are the positives of this activity or act? Again, consider your whole self.

Now weigh one against the other and make a decision for your personal life.

I’ll leave you with an example I did for myself and a freebie template for your own!

Download Your Freebie Here!

Five. Learn to say “no.”

Start small. Tell the cashier, “No receipt.” Select “no tip” at Starbucks, the salon, and DoorDash.

Make sure to practice this in your home, too! Say “no” to you child when they want to watch another movie. Tell your partner, “No, I don’t have time to do that for you tomorrow.”

When you are comfortable saying this little word, saying it when it concerns sex will be that much easier!

Six. Practice respecting other people’s “no.”

Support your child when they don’t want to hug a stranger. Or Grandma. Don’t take it personally when your partner says they aren’t in the mood. Make an effort to remain unchanged when your in-law firmly says, “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Your ‘no’ is important, and so is theirs.

Seven. Start vocalizing your desire.

Start small with this one, too. Tell your nail tech, “That’s not the color I thought it was. Let’s change it!” Take your coffee back to the barista and say, “This isn’t what I ordered.”

And you need to practice this one in your home, too. Say, “I’d love for you to do the laundry,” to your partner. Tell your mom, “I want to take you to lunch.” When a friend forgets the time, say, “I need to get to bed, so you’ll have to leave.”

This one is going to be pretty uncomfortable, especially for my female friends here and doubly so for the gals that grew up in the Christian community. I promise you can do this and still be a loving, kind, compassionate woman of God.

Eight. Get to know your own anatomy.

Check out a library book or borrow your medically minded friend’s college textbook. Learn your own inner workings. Admire the way you were created and stand in awe of your intricate design!

And while I wouldn’t recommend googling it, here’s some non-porn online resources!

A Guide to Female Anatomy

Female Reproductive System For Teens (love this for adults, too!)

Male Reproductive System

Male Reproductive System For Teens (so good for adults, too!)

Nine. Get to know the opposite sex’s anatomy.

So same as number eight! Learning the inner workings of the opposite sex not only leads us to greater appreciate for how the male and female bodies are meant to intertwine and work together, but it gives us a greater understanding of our partner’s body, too!

Ten. Check your heart.

Sexual health has as much to do with our attitudes towards each gender as it does with the physical mechanisms of sex.

Do you believe you are entitled to sex with your partner? Do you prioritize your sexual satisfaction over their wellbeing and needs? Do you contribute to the physical care of the household (cleaning toilets, the litterbox, weeding the flowerbed, meal planning, etc.)?

Do you think women are incapable of making life decisions? Do you think men are one beer away from a violent outburst?

What we believe about the other gender translates into how we interact with our partner. Lies and half-truths are felt and often affect the mental and emotional trust which in turn hurts sexual health, both individually and as a couple.

Like most things, moving toward sexual health savviness is a series of small and intentional choices. Over time, they become habitual and second nature, ingrained into who you are and how you think.

Start small. You can do this.

Savvy? 😉